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goodbye 2006 [11 Dec 2006|10:22pm]

WITH 2006 COMING TO AN END HAVE YOU..

1. Have you had any relationships this year?
yes

2. Have you had your birthday yet?
yes

3. Cried yet?
yes

4. Been on a diet?
psh. no

5. Pulled an all nighter?
many times!!

6. Drank Starbucks?
yep

7. Went Camping?
i can't say that i did..

8. Bought something(s)
yuh

9. Met someone special?
yes

10. Been out of town?
yeeah

11. Gone Snowboarding?
crested butte, baby.

12. What are you thinking about?
how some people need to stop lying about stuff & just tell me so I don't find out from other people

1.) Hugged someone?
everyday

2.) Slept in someone elses bed?
yeaahh

3.) any alchohol?
hahaha

4.) Loaned out money?
too much

5.) Gotten in a car accident?
my first one!!

7.) Been called a whore?
yeh, but not seriously

8.) Done something you regret?
yes

Last Person you hugged?
uhh, mike foster

Last Person to call you?
megan marquis

When was the last time you felt stupid?
a few minutes ago when I was at Barnes & Noble with megan and alex and i snorted really load and hot chocolate came out of my nose

Who was the last person you danced with?
Andrew Hill at the Senior Thanksgiving

Who did you last yell at?
megan macdonald

What did you do today?
went to school, worked on yearbook afterschool, ate pizza wiht mikey, went home, got accepted to GVSU, worked on HAMLET in my room, got a banana (rotten..) thrown at me, etc.. long night

NINE FACTS

01. Natural hair color?
dirty blonde-- i have virgin hair :)

02. Initials?
BAM

03. Hair style?
rugged

04. eye color?
gray

05. Height:
5'4

06. Pets:
don't remind me-- they both died :(

07. Mood:
tired, annoyed

08. Where would you rather be?
the beach

09. Last thing you drank?
hot chocolate

NINE THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE:

01. Have you ever been in love:
not sure really, i dont think so

02. Do you believe in love?
who doesnt believe in love, you just have to experience it for yourself 

03. Why did your LAST relationship fail?
i couldnt really tell you, i am still pretty unsure what happened to us

04. Have you ever been heartbroken:
unfortunatly yes

05. Have you ever broken someone's heart:
whoops--hahah

06. Have you ever fallen for your best friend?
nahh

08. Are you afraid of committment?
now i am

09. Have you had more than 5 different serious relationships in your life?
i have only had ONE

FOUR EMOTIONS

01. Are you missing someone right now?
yeh

02. Are you happy?
i am always happy :)

03. Are you eating anything?
nopee

04. Do you like someone right now?
i guess so

cmnt

Kit Kat's And Crayons [11 Oct 2006|06:21pm]
[ mood | not really sure.. ]
[ music | Aladdin ]

I never really write in this thing anymore for numerous of reasons... starting with, 1) i just dont have any time 2) i dont have anything exciting going on 3) i usually check myspace on the internet and then I X out because it gives me a headache. But any way.. things are going good i guess. Nothing really important has happened to me.. wait, yes. I am now officially single. Hahah. Oh well.. It was a good time while it lasted, but I guess I cant expect a lot if it wasnt making me happy in the end. It's weird though-- I didnt want things to "end" like this. We dont talk much anymore.. (well, after Saturday night.. i dont think we will for awhile) but I kinda sitll wanted to be good friends with him. Oh well, I'll give it some time to recover and things will be good.

Senior year... oh Senior Year. I still can't believe it. It's actually crazy. I have applied to fucking college. I remember when my sister Erin went away to college.. that seems so long ago, and I felt so young. I was doing like 10 + 10.. and now I am writing personal statements about myself and applying to places outside of michigan.  I have applied to : Michigan State University, Central University, Grand Valley State University, Albion College, Loyola University, Marquette University, and Duquesne Univesity. Shit.. I didnt even think about how many I applied to. I am so undecideed on what I want. Everyone keeps talking baout how GVSU would be awesome, but a lot of people who I know go there hate it and think it is so boring.. and i am not boring. It sucks. Ever since I visited colleen at MU, i really want to go to a college in the downtown! that would be so tight. Like homies on the bus, an actual city would be so awesome. I applied so many places because I really dont know what I want yet, and its not that big of a deal. Most of those places I applied offered a free application, so why not? I am so ready to get out of here.. this city, this county, maybe even this state. I really have matured over the year.. through drama and shit, i honestly dont care anymore. 

I look back to last year with all that drama I had with people.. i was an idiot. Although it kinda sucked, I shouldnt have ended a friendship over it. But there isnt anything I can do now, but wait around for something. As much as they call me stubborn, they are just as stubborn. Whether it was jelousy and stupidity, or innocent drama.. the resultant still sucks. But as I said.. there isnt anything I can do about it anymore. 

Last night was "senior night" for swimming where my coach (of three years) just said a little bit about us and gave us a flower.. and it wasnt much, but it really got me thinking. This is my last month of highschool swimming.. Ever. It has honestly been such a gigantic part of my life. I may complain and bitch about swimming every day of my life.. but honestly, its really weird to think that I'll be done forveer. People keep telling me to swim in college and that i could be successful in it.. but as of now my heart isnt into anymore. I have swam since i was 4 years old.. thats like 13 years.. thats a shit load of years. I cant believe it. How much it has been a part of my life. All the practices, meets, tears, sweat, pain.. -- (lame, eh?) -- but really. how weird is that. this just brings me back once again to think about how weird it is that I am a senior. Everyday I get a new  "last" thing. Like on Friday (Oct 7th) that was my last homecomming. Oct 8- my last county swim meet. And so on.. its just crazy thinking.

1 | cmnt

Say goodbye [02 Oct 2006|06:55pm]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | guster ]

Say goodbye, lose your friends, make them go, don't need them around
Cause it's time, lose your friends, make them go, was never supposed to be like this
They were too weak, too prone to break
Their needs too deep, their skin too thin
By now you took what was to take
Tear it apart and start again
So go on, if this will make you happier
It got you this far, did what you had to
You've wasted every moment of your Saturdays and your Sundays
You're wasted from the boredom, was never supposed to be like this
Like your father said, just do what was done unto you..always
In your father's steps you'll do what was done unto you
It won't be hard to start again
So go on, if this will make you happier
It got you this far, do what you have to
And you're gone now
And did it make you happier?

1 | cmnt

random quiz [24 Aug 2006|08:30pm]
<lj-cut>

[[ This Summer... Have You ]]

1. drank alcohol?
indeed
2. cried?
yes
3. kissed anyone?
yes :)
4. been on a vacation to a different state?
yehyeh
5. been on a vacation to a different country?
nope
6. been to the beach?
FRANKFORT BEACH :)
7. been to the boardwalk?
nope
8. done drugs?
yes
9. smoked?
yes
10. snuck out?
haha, yes
11. had a sleepover?
never
12. stayed up all night?
what can i say-- i am an insomniac
13. slept in someone elses bed?
yes
14. went in a pool?
i practically lived in a pool
15. ...without a bathing suit?
hot tub or lake michigan count?
16. been on the computer a lot?
yes, i am a loser.
17. played video games?
nah
18. listened to an ipod/mp3 player?:
my ipod broke
19. been on over 30 car rides?
i drive somewhere EVERY day.. so yes
20. been grounded?
not really
21. been to a party?
too many
22. regret something?
yes
23. been dumped?
nope
24. lied?
ehh.. yes
25. done anything against the law?
yes'm
26. been camping?
we were supposed too!!!
27. got in a fight?
probably
29. stayed at a hotel?
no
30. talked on the phone all night?
i tried too.. but i ended up falling asleep on the phone
31. went shopping?
yup :)
32. been hit on?
i think
34. asked someone out?
nope
35. got in a car with a stranger?
yes
36. lost someone close?
yes
37. had someone sleep in your bed?
yes
38. been to a movie?
"Monster House"
39. been to a club?
no, but a rave

[[ Who is/are... ]]

the person/people you were with the most?:
megan or mike :)

[[ Where... ]]

have you been the most?:
lake orion, mikes house, my house, massucci's

[[ Random... ]]

Favorite ice cream this summer?:
oreo resee blizzard!! (from DQ)

Best day?
-up north with mike mikey & megan was some major good times :)
-synchro

Biggest regret so far this summer?:
i'd rather not say

Favorite song this summer?:
jack's mannequin

Favorite movie?:
um.. i dont really watch movies

Is this the best summer so far?:
i dont think any summer will live up to last summer, but this was definatly a really good one :)

Are you looking forward to school starting?:
of course, SENIOR YEAR!!

Do you have a Boyfriend or Girlfriend?:
miiiiike kelllllly :)

cmnt

Somethings just hit me... [17 Aug 2006|12:41am]
I geuss the past few days I have gotten pretty emotional over things that were going to happen sooner or later. It's really weird to think about how much something can happen in a year, and how fast a year really goes.  Seriously, in exactly one year.. we will be moving away and going to college. I feel like I haven't seen any of my friends who just graduated. Next year, I want to be with everyone all the time. I am not good at saying goodbyes, and then I always think about the people who I am not going to EVER see again. And that makes me feel really nervous. High School has been so much fun the past years, I am so stoked for senior year.. it's crazy. I am not gonna hold anything back senior year. Not waste anytime on stupid things. Everything is going to go perfect. I never really thought this year would actually happen.
1 | cmnt

BAM x 2 [28 Jul 2006|03:58pm]
I was just thinking about some stuff, and this is totally random. But in my life I have been a part of two "BAM" groups. As stupid as those ancronyms are, they were good times. 

1st---  Bridget Annie Maria 
2nd--- Bridget Ashley Melanie

Hahahh, the good times.
  funny how things change, seriously. I havent talked to Annie or Maria in such a long time.. they were honeslty my best friends, we always togherther at Roosevelt. I havent talked to Ashley or Melanie in a long time either and we were pretty much always together last summer. as I said... funny how things change.
5 | cmnt

There's truth but no logic. [28 Jul 2006|10:21am]
[ mood | sore ]
[ music | postal service ]

Sometimes things are crazy and they dont make any sense, but thats why I trust it. I love waking up in the morning not knowing what's gonna happen or, who I'm gonna meet, where I'm gonna wind up. (Jack Dawson states almost that exact line in Titanic if I am not mistaken. But I figure life's a gift and I don't intend on wasting it. You don't know what hand you're gonna get dealt next, the next obstacle you'll fight, and how you'll even begin to manage your life. You learn to take life as it comes at you... to make each day count. I try to make sure I look at people with all intentions of being 100% the best, but then there are others that look a people like they are a dangerous insect, which must be squashed quickly. Sometimes people tend to overlook their life--I tend to do it too, but the days when I don't, the days are much nicer and open minded. I wish I could always be openminded about everything, things would be so much easier and carefree. I like to see people and look at their lives and compare them and predict how they will turn out---and then remember in ten years when I see that person, maybe I would be right.

cmnt

survey's to do.. because i am bored :) [08 Jul 2006|01:44pm]

<lj-cut>

(1) Your gender: female
(2) Straight/gay/bi?:  straight
(3) Single?:  nope :)
(4) Want to be?:  nope!
(5) Your birth day:  november third
(6) Age you act: seven
(7) Age you wish you were:  i love being sixteen because i am too scared to grow up anymore, but i wish the good old days of playing in the backyard with my friends all day and never having to care about anything important!!
(8) Your height:  5'3
(9) The color of your eyes: light blueish gray
(10) Happy with it?:  yeh, i like my eyes
(11) The color of your hair: shitty blonde.. but its 100% natural, so i like it
(12) Happy with it?: i manage
(13) Left/right/ambidextrous?: right
(14) Your living arrangement?:  with my parents
(27) Your family:  mom, dad, and two sisters
(29) What's your job:  teach swimming lessons and hopefully getting a part-time job at a small botique
(30) Piercings?:  one in each ear
(31) Tattoos?:  none
(32) Obsessions?:  music, eating good food, shopping, friends
(35) Do you speak another language? i took french..but im pretty bad at it
(36) Have a favorite quote?:  "you may say i'm a dreamer, but i'm not the only one. i hope some day you'll join us, and the world will live as one"  - John Lennon
(37) Do you have a webpage?:  yeh i'm a nerd--i got the whole thing--myspace and livejournal

DEEP THOUGHTS about life and you in it
(38) Do you live in the moment?:  i try too, but then other times its hard to forget the past
(39) Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?:  i'm pretty tolerant
(40) Do you have any secrets?:  who doesnt?
(41) Do you hate yourself?:  i dont think i could ever hate myself.. but sure, i've made stupid mistakes that make me unhappy
(42) Do you like your handwriting?:  when i try to write good its alright, but other times its just plain and simple print
(43) Do you have any bad habits?: of course--
(44) What is the compliment you get most from people?:  i can make people laugh and i make people feel welcomed
(45) If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?:  A Jokester
(46) What's your biggest fear?:  growing up and death
(47) Can you sing: hah! nope, i used too.. but my voice is shot-- and i just sing to annoy others
(48) Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?:  i used to do things that weren't me to fit in.. but all the people who love me accept me for who i am, so i tend to stick with being myself!!
(49) Are you a loner?: nope :)
(51) If you were another person, would you be friends with you?:  sure
(52) Are you a daredevil?:  depends
(53) Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?:  i hate how i can make something little into a huge deal, sometimes i complain and act very needy when i am not a needy person at all
(54) Are you passive or aggressive?:  can be both
(55) Have you got a hickey?:  what a random question.. but i dont think so
(56) What is your greatest strength and weakness? my greatest strength..hmm; well i suppose i can stay peppy and stay happy because i try to never let anyone see me upset
(57) If you could change one thing about yourself?:  i try not to think about that- im me, and i dont want to be anyone else
(58) There are three wells, love, beauty and creativity, which one do you choose?: love
(59) How do you vent?:  talk to someone, write it down, watch tv and sleep
(60) Do you think you are emotionally strong?: i can be..i dealt with a lot of crap this year and kept a lot of it to myself..but at other points i can break down very easily
(61) Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: i try to have no regrets- you learn from past experiences, but i'm sure i could name a few regrets that caused me to technically lose two of my best friends.. :-\
(62) Do you think life has been good so far?:  it's life-- how can it not be good? opposed to death i think living is the best thing out here, and you just need to keep living
(63) What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: be careful who you trust with things, never tell anyone your deepest secrets
(64) What do you like the most about your body?:  legs?
(65) And least?: my stomach
(66) Do you think you are good looking?:  lets just say i dont think i am ugly!!
(67) Are you confident?:  sometimes
(68) What is the fictional character you're most like?:  nancy drew-- solving mysteries
69) Do people know how you feel?:  yes
(70) Are you perceived wrongly?:  i didnt think so but latly a lot of people thought i was a stoner-- not cool!

DO YOU...
(71) Smoke?: hookah-- but not anything else!
(72) Do drugs?:  nope
(73) Read the newspaper?:  New York Times & "Police Beat"
(74) Pray?: nope
(75) Go to church? no, but i am in a youth group that does mission work around the country
(76) Talk to strangers who IM you?:  not usually
(77) Sleep with stuffed animals?: used to
(78) Take walks in the rain?: i think the rain is one of my favorite things
(79) Talk to people even though you hate them?: yes
(80) Drive?:  yes, i have my license
(81) Like to drive fast?:  i tend to go by the speed limits, except in the underpass by my house

HAVE YOU EVER...
(82) Liked your voice?:  its pretty low for being a girl, and it tends to be raspy
(83) Hurt yourself?:  not intentionally
(84) Been out of the country?:  yes-- europe twice, canada, mexico
(85) Eaten something that made other people sick?:  yeh all the time, most of my friends are picky and my family is insanly god about cooking amazing food
(86) Burped?:  are you joking--doesn't everyone burp occasionally>
(87) Been unfaithful?: yes
(88) Been in love?:  i'm not sure
(89) Done drugs?: nope
(90) Gone skinny dipping?:  yes
(92) Had a surgery?:  yes
(93) Ran away from home?:  yes
(94) Played strip poker:  yes
(95) Gotten beaten up?: not exactly
(97) Been picked on?:  yes
(98) Been on stage?: yes
(99) Been so drunk that you know you're supposed to go out on a date with someone, but you can't remember with who or when and that you faint when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, not to mention your breath?:  thats some extreme drunk
(100) Slept outdoors?:  yes
(101) Thought about suicide?: i guess so..but would never do it 
(102) Pulled an all-nighter?: yes, all the time
(103) If yes, what is your record?:  about a day and a half
(105) Talked on the phone all night?:  yes
(106) Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex?:  yes
(107) Slept all day?:  yep
(108) Killed someone?: i dont think i would be on livejournal if i killed someone
(109) Made out with a stranger?:  not made out
(110) Had sex with a stranger?:  ew gross
(111) Thought you're going crazy?:  haha yes.. all the time
(112) Kissed the same sex?: ahha yeh
(113) Done anything sexual with the same sex?:  nope
(114) Been betrayed?: yes..ugh
(115) Had a dream that came true?: yup!
(116) Broken the law?:  yeh
(117) Met a famous person?: yes i have
(118) Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: ants
(146) Stolen anything?: yes
(147) Been on radio/TV.?:  radio yes..tv no
(148) Been in a mosh-pit?:  haha, yeh, but not an extreme one
(149) Had a nervous breakdown?: yes
(150) Considered religious vocation?: nope
(151) Been criticized about your sexual performance?:  nope
(152) Bungee jumped?: nope..ahh
(153) Had a dream that kept coming back?:  yea--actually recently about a anteater jumping on my friends.. its so weird

CLOTHES and other fashion
(154) Shoe brand?: flip flops from anywhere, nike
(155) Brand of clothing?: urban outfitters, hollister, a&f, pitaya, etc.,
(156) Cologne/perfume?:  eclat from paris
(157) What are you normally wearing to school/work?: uniform--yay catholic school
(159) Wear hats?: i like too
(161) Wear make-up?: eyeliner & mascara
(162) Favorite place to shop?:  urban outfitters, pitaya
(163) Favorite article of clothing?: my hoodies
(164) Are you trendy?:  i guess so?
(165) Would you rather wear a uniform to school?:  i do :)

BELIEFS
(166) Believe in life on other planets?:  yeh-- it's weird, but i truly do think there is something going on out there
(167) Miracles?:  Alex Herrold
(168) Astrology?: it's cool
(169) Magic?:  it's pretty trippy
(170) God?: not sure
(171) Satan?:  not sure
(172) Santa?:  no..but those were the days..
(173) Ghosts?:  yes
(174) Luck?:  yes
(175) Love at first sight?: not love
(176) Yin and Yang?: i guess
(177) Witches?:  yes
(178) Easter bunny?:  i hate that thing
(179) Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?:  doubt it
(180) Believe there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?: that would be awesome
(181) Do you wish on stars?:  i have before

LOVE, and all that
(182) Did you get frightened or uncomfortable seeing that as a section title?: nope, why should i?
(183) Do you remember your first love?: i never had a first love..yet
(184) Still love him/her?:  ---
(185) Do you consider love a mistake?:  in some cases
(186) What do you find romantic?:  being comfortable!
(187) Turn-on?:  nice eyes, body, funny, comfy
(188) Turn-off?: agressivness, jerks, cockyness
(189) Do you base your judgment on looks alone:  no
(200) If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel?:  i would feel bad for them and just try to be their friend
(201) Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going "blind"?:  i like knowing them first
(202) Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out?:  doesnt matter..ive done it before
(203) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?:  yes
(204) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?:  i hope so
(205) What is best about the opposite sex?: thats a hard question
(206) What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?:  they can be too agressive
(207) What's the last present someone gave you? mike gave me a hershey's locket!!
(208) Are you in love?:  not yet
(209) Do you consider your significant other hot?:  of course
(210) What would you do if you were walking down the street and saw some hot guy/girl standing on the sidewalk?: probaby look?

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...
(211) That haunted you?:  haunted? i dont know
(212) You wanted to kill?: i dont like death
(213) That you laughed at?:  mike
(214) That laughed at you?: the world
(215) That turned you on?: mike
(216) You went shopping with?:  family @ B.L.D
(217) That broke your heart?: hmm.. i dont think my heart has been broken-- but maybe cracked?
(218) To disappoint you?: Steve
(219) To ask you out?:  Mike [[cinco de mayo]]
(220) To make you cry?:  mission trip with Matt/Ian/Linds
(221) To brighten up your day?:  Mike
(222) That you thought about?: Mike
(223) You saw a movie with?: it's been a long time.. i can't remember
(224) You talked to on the phone?:  Megan
(225) You talked to through IM?: Mike
(226) You saw?:  Dad
(227) You lost?: Steve / Ashley
(229) You thought was completely insane?: Alec
(230) You wanted to be?:  ---
(231) You told off?: ?
(232) You trusted?:  Mike?
(233) You turned down?: ---

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU
(234) Smiled?: at the Diaper Derby 
(235) Laughed?: see above 
(236) Cried?: Mission Trip
(237) Bought something?:  today
(238) Danced?: Friday
(239) Were sarcastic?: im always sarcastic
(240) hugged someone?: Friday when I said goodbye to Mike
(241) Talked to an ex?: yesderday
(242) Watched your fave movie?: last night
(243) Had a nightmare?: i always have crazy dreams
(245) Talked on the phone?: yesderday--
(246) Listened to the radio?: right now
(247) Watched TV?: last night
(248) Went out?: this morning
(249) Helped someone?: yesderday--i teach kids how to swim
(250) Were mean?: haha..probably last night
(251) Sang?: in the car before
(252) Saw a movie in a theater?: when Rent came out
(253) Said "I love you"?: to my mom/dad
(254) Missed someone?: now
(255) Fought with a family member?: when am i not fighting?
(256) Fought with a friend?: not sure
(257) Had a serious conversation?: a couple nights ago
(258) Got drunk?: last week?
(259) Had sex?: never
2 | cmnt

Long time no See... [08 Jun 2006|11:33pm]
So when's the last time I did one of these looong drawn out entries? A long time eh'. Well I was looking in my myspace and Beth sent me a comment saying she found my last years religion study guide in my livejournal, so I came on here and started reading some of my old stuff. Wow. Let's just say, it put me in a weird mood, and once again, I am having a "thinking moment" where I just cant stop thinking. It's weird how much can honestly change in a year, or 3 months for that matter. So I take it you want the update on how I am doing? I am doing great actually. One more day of school left, and I am finally free. I can't believe I am going to be a senior next year, it's so weird I dont even accept the fact that it is true. How can I be a senior? I am just now finding highschool to be fun. I am physically and mentally not ready for it, and I have a feeling it's all going to happen really quickly.

I saw an old friend who went into the airforce today, he was very different. He was perfectly poised, and he annuncated every word correctly. He never did before. He used to be a silly man, but it's scary how much a person can change when they go into that stuff. I am scared of how many people I know are going to go into that, and when they come back to visit they will be totally different people. Maybe his poise and correct speaking aren't anything bad, but thats just a start. People who are coming home from war are serioulsy going crazy because of the traumatic stuff they witness over there. Its scary. Its even more scarier that I never looked at this War the same way, because now that I know people going over there soon/and over there now.. you never know what will happen, and it makes just want to keep thinking about them, and I wish I could tell them all how much I appreciate what they are doing.

Yeh, I'm tired. One more exam, and officially tomorrow @ 10:45am, SUMMER 2006.
cmnt

[16 May 2006|04:48pm]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | jason mraz ]

yay.
Cinco de Mayo :)

Things are going good, the end of the year is approaching. Finally.
Summer is gonna be kickass.

I haven't talked to my ferndale friends in such a long time..
where are you guys?
i have been so busy latley, so sorry.
I dont know.. it goes both ways.

But i like how everyone is all TOGETHER now. What have I donnnne!!!
Biggest regret of my life.
But I am not gonna focus on that, because life is going so good.

i'm out.
what a lame entry.

:)

cmnt

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